Besides hating to scrub out a greasy pot, and besides the animals, I had one main objection to serving hamin at my table and that was the clincher:
Rav Amnon Yitzchak said that slaughter in a factory nowadays, even by the strictest labels, is not kosher [because in a factory there's no time to check the knife as required].
The Shabbat after that pronouncement, I intended to go vegetarian, but caved in to my children’s assurances that lots of other rabbis say for sure the schnitzel is kosher, and so I ate it.
One more time.
That was more than a year ago; I never did that again. I even banned chicken and meat from my table, except under extreme pressure like having to host a new bride in my house—and even then I refused to buy it, cook it, or serve it. My children had to do it.
By now, after three episodes of ‘The Hamin Hostilities’, I decided to banish chicken and meat from my house, no matter what.
Still I wasn’t sure, so first I asked G-d and then I asked my husband: Do you want the hamin?
Okay, so please explain to Hananel.
No, you explain to him.
You're the man; you do it.
So my husband said okay, he'll tell Hananel no more hamin!
Suddenly in midweek, my daughter walked in with her three children; the eldest is three.
I played with the children and gave them food and drinks [no chicken or meat], and my daughter nursed the baby.
Where was Hananel?
At work in Bnai Brak.
Now, after months of silence on the subject, my daughter revealed to me her husband’s schedule:
In the morning he learns Torah;
From the afternoon to 10 at night he works in a clothing store.
He comes home at 11 pm [when he works in the Negev];
He comes home at one o’clock in the morning [when he works in Bnai Brak],
and then he helps my daughter with the children.
That night, though, Hananel stopped at my house to get the keys from my daughter, slept at his widowed mother’s house [where they usually live], and left early for an all-day seminar on how to help troubled teenagers.
So my daughter and grandchildren slept on mattresses and spent all the next day at my house. My daughter composed a happy song:
Control your soul
so the people near you hear you
La la la!
Your kids sprout out like a flower
their magic and power…
La la la!
Who is this small, gentle, stalwart soul?
When she turned 12, every girl in our West Bank outpost shunned her [for not wearing socks]. Her former friends, on the way to the swimming pool [from which she was banned for not wearing socks] had the nerve to ask her for a bathing suit [and my daughter said ‘sure’ as if nothing had happened].
Back to the present:
A few hours before Shabbat, I watched a short video of Maran HaRav Gershon Edelstein shlita, Rosh Yeshivah Ponovezh, Chaver Moetzes Gedolei Hatorah in Eretz Yisrael.
In short, he’s a very important rabbi.
And he said that according to Torah law, if your kid wants to go ‘off the path’ against Jewish law and custom and for example wear shorts and a tee shirt, instead of a suit, and even if your kid is a girl and wants to wear forbidden clothing, like shorts and a tee shirt, you can go ahead and buy the shorts for him or for her. The same applies to willful non-observance of Shabbat, non-kosher food, and so on.
Because, the rabbi explains, you have no other choice.
My husband watched the video too. Shabbat came in and Hananel and his little family stayed at his mother’s house.
And in my house, there was no hamin and no question that the food was 100 percent kosher.
The house was quiet; I had no pots to wash, and I had time to think about the hamin hostilities, and time to feel terrible.
I said to my husband, what do you think if next time we buy some meat and I cook a pot of hamin the way Hananel likes it?
And he said yeah, I was thinking the same thing.
A link to the video: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tZm6pDRVu2Q&feature=youtu.be