When HaShem wants to promote you to a higher spiritual world, how do you think he should do it?
One option is to give you a new Acer U27-880 desktop computer, but then your neighbors might hate you.
It might be better to break your present computer, knowing you don’t have money for a new one or even for repair, causing most of your documents to be lost and your work disrupted.
Except you haven’t had any work since before Rosh HaShanah.
As for the documents you have no access to: you wrote them a long time ago and never managed to publish them anywhere anyway.
And you have a million topics you want to talk about right now but, every time you get started, you notice the old unpublished stories in the files and in the cloud, sitting there like ketchup in the fridge from thirty years ago that you don’t want to waste.
If G-d opted for the shiny new Acer, you know you would get busy uploading all the files from the last 20 years, just in case you might need them. Chances are the corrupted files would eventually worm their way into the Acer, since that is the nature of things that are stagnant, unused, unaired, and dead.
So yes, my computer died on Nov. 22, the date of the Kennedy assassination.
That must really mean something. Imagine how grateful the President and his family would have been if a computer had died in his place.
My computer’s life hadn’t been so great as the President’s, being long stuffed with old, unusable documents and idiotic programs I had foolishly allowed neighbors and family friends to download. In the final moments my computer was hooked up to a screen with blinking, multicolored tabulations, just like a hospital bedside monitor.
Listen: I’ve heard talk these days about how to say the Shma Yisrael prayer: You imagine all the while that you are dying for G-d’s sake!
Now see how my saintly computer gave up his life instead of me, and how grateful I should be for this spiritual promotion so exalted it’s equivalent to giving up my life, with torture and burning and strangling and so on.
And after all, today it’s Thanksgiving in America.